I’m sure you are well aware that Sunday is Father’s Day. And with that comes the bittersweet remembrance of all of the babyloss dads out there. For a babyloss father, his grief is often overlooked, minimized and/or totally ignored. Instead of asking how HE is doing, many people will ask how his partner is doing with the loss of their child. Men in our culture are often expected to suck it up, to not show feelings and to be the provider for the family and for his partner. Sometimes these are welcomed roles so he has something to DO. But many times, it can be challenging to near impossible to embrace one’s feelings of grief and loss if you haven’t been taught how to do so and no one else is comfortable with you doing so. I am happy to see there is more discussion happening around father’s and their grief. Such as these:
- On Guilt and Photo Albums.
- How a Man Handles a Miscarriage
- Men Speak Honestly About the Pain of Mourning a Miscarriage
These resources are but a few that are popping up more and more. I am thrilled to see men finding their voices too when it comes to babyloss. In the work I do, I am passionate about working with the couple together after their baby dies. Often times we focus on the mother and how she is doing physically and emotionally, but we know it is a COUPLE issue when a baby dies… this pain and loss doesn’t belong exclusively to either the father or the mother.
On this Father’s Day 2015, I celebrate and honor our babyloss dads, and each of the children they mourn. I stand with you to recognize your pain and loss.
How do you plan to honor this Father’s Day? How will you celebrate your fatherhood and remember the child(ren) you lost?